I moved.

so we were just in the McDonalds drive thru and our car was parked right by the window. I looked over into the restaurant and there were two girls sitting right there and wearing Invader Zim shirts. So I picked up my Johnny The Homicidal Maniac comic (that I just happened to have) and start reading it, making sure they could see the cover. Then I casually looked over and they were both staring at me. Then we drove away. Today was a good day.

T.GIF

I got to school during 2nd bell today. When I got to class, we had a sub. So of course, there was a hilarious fight between the sub and some kid. The sub told her to put her phone away, and shes like

And the sub is all like

and the whole class is just sitting there like

So after he has her removed from the class, the bell rings and I go to history class. Where we took a boring test that I failed. I took one look at it and was like “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEEEEL”

So after that, in art class, it starts POURING down rain. So bad that we had to sit in the same class for another hour. Just sitting there.

When we finally get out, its time for lunch.

In 6th bell, my teacher played a CD with old Justin Timberlake songs on it. Songs from like 2001. Everyone in the class was like

And 7th bell was boring because the people who sit next to me didnt show up today.

For no reason, here is Nicholas Cage awkwardly dressed like Superman.

Superbowl Party Awkwardness.

So I went to a superbowl party with my mom. It was at her friends house, full of people I don’t know. I just planned to sit there awkwardly and listen to my ipod the whole time.

Then my moms friends daughters came up and asked me to play Wii with them. I was like well that beats football. So I went to play Just Dance on Wii. And soon we were all dancing like

So I was winning the game, because I dance like a boss.

Then a little kid ran up behind me. So I may or may not have accidentally hit a strangers 3 year old in the forehead with a Wii remote. And he may or may not have had a little bump on his head. Then everyone else looked at me like

Wii is dangerous I tell you. Thankfully the kid was ok. He didn’t cry or anything, so it wasn’t that bad. But I still felt like

Everytime I try to be social, it goes terribly wrong. So that’s how I spent my Superbowl Sunday.

So today at school, we had an anonymous survey to fill out. And we all know that when anon is on, the troll in us comes out. One of the questions said “As a teacher, what can I do to help you learn better?” and I wrote “don’t teach shit I dont give a fuck about”.

Today was a great day

Much better than horrible yesterday. And surprisingly, all the good things happened in drama class. I know, it’s shocking.

Well Kelly was there today. I told her how nervous I was to do the skit yesterday without her. She asked “Why didn’t you text me?” and I said “Because your little brother had surgery yesterday and I didn’t want to bother you.” But then she said “You couldn’t bother me, you are my world.”

:D :D :D :D

Also, my teacher AND a kid I don’t even know both said “Tell me who was picking on you, i’ll kick their ass!” hahaha. (yes, even the teacher said ass, it was amazing)

Aaaannnnnd, 4 DAY WEEKEND.

Today.

So I walk into 1st bell, and the teacher is talking about how after we take our exam, we’re going to watch Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

 Only one other person besides me even heard of the movie, and she was like “Ohh Keanu Reeves! That’s my husband!” And I was like esskuze me hoe, but dats my man.

Then I walk into 2nd bell, and the teacher is like bam, here’s a 100 question pop quiz. Surprise.

So after that was done, I fall asleep in 3rd bell. Idk what it is about reading plays, but I fall asleep every time. Last year I fell asleep during The Miracle Worker, and this year im sleeping through Antigone. I must randomly have narcolepsy whenever we read plays. I don’t know.

Then my favorite class of the day comes along. Drama class. You all know how much I love that class. Well I sit in our UNASSIGNED seats, and the Megabitch walks in. The Megabitch is the biggest bitch out of my whole drama class. So she just fuckin stands there next to my desk, and when the teacher tells her to sit down, she starts yelling “WELL I CANT CAUSE SHES IN MY SEAT!” And the whole class just stares at me. Excuse me Megabitch, MAYBE if you didn’t come to class late everyday, you would have a chair to sit in. But Im sure you stop to talk to your friends in the hallway because you know the teacher doesnt take attendance right away. So you can just sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.

Sorry about that. Anyway, I had to hide my nails from everyone today because over the weekend I put pot leaves on them and forgot to take them off. Well they noticed in Spanish lol.

Dude: OH, So THATS what you do in your spare time! You come in here acting all innocent and shy, now it all makes sense.

I’m like

It was a WTF kind of day.

Today, I heard this girl telling everyone, “I’ve been in this school since the beginning of the year, and only have 10 friends!”

Bitch, ive been in this school since LAST year, and I don’t have any friends.

Like a boss.

A Christmas Story

Me: Sooo… what did grandma get me for Christmas lol.

Mom: The only thing you asked for… ohshit.

Me:… I asked for an iPod. SHE GOT ME AN IPOD?

Mom: Why would she get you an ipod?? hahaha. you so silly.

Today

1st bell was depressing because the teacher was talking about her pet that she had to put to sleep :(

But in 2nd bell, we got to watch Disneys Oceans, which Ive wanted to see for a long time. It’s really good, if you like animals or nature. Or oceans. But if not, its still cool to watch cause its pretty.

But we watched it on the teachers laptop on a projector, so sometimes the screensaver would pop up and everyone would freak. “AAHTURNITBACKON.” Then after everyone shut up, one guy was like “…Son of a bitch.” and it was HILARIOUS.

3RD BELL, WE ACTUALLY DID WORK. But the teacher caught a kid skipping, told him she had a present for him, dumbass believed her, and we all clapped when he walked in the room. Then came the awkward moment when he didnt get a present, but a referral instead.

On the way to fourth bell, this dude walks up to me and tells me I have something on my hood. So my first thought was “did someone put a kick me sign on my back ahh.” but I look, and he hung a candy cane on my hood, awww. I like nice people.

5th bell, watched a booooring movie. Blah.

Skip to 7th, where we played Apples to Apples and the most hilarious thing of the day happened. For some reason, this guy felt inspired to come into our class, and say “Hey I just wanted to wish yall a Merry Christmas and TITS TITS ASS FUCKIN…” before he could finish his..whatever that was.. the teacher runs after him and he bolts out of the door.

At first we were like

But then we

And when the teacher came back (she never caught him), she gave us all candy.

crazy bitches.

So this girl who stalks me at school, was being even more annoying today. And when I say stalk, I mean she runs down the hallway screaming my name everytime she sees me.

So today my teacher was helping her son sell candy bars for 1 dollar. So she wants one (she is obsessed with candy and always asks everyone if they have any) and asks everyone she sees for a dollar. When no one gives her a dollar, she freaks out. “WHAT THE FUCK WHY DOESNT ANYONE HAVE A DOLLAR. FUCK FUCK FUCK.” I am not exaggerating. Not even a little. Dis bitch is psycho. And im just sitting there watching her be a psycho like

2 CLASSES GO BY. And I see her in another class, STILL asking for a dollar. Then tells me a story about how she tried to steal some guys wallet in her last class, but got caught. She said it was ok though, because it was just a dollar. And everyone is lookin at her like

So she looks over and sees someone eating a Reese’s. One. And she wants it. The half eaten, slobbered on, little Reese’s from a strangers mouth. And when the stranger wont give it to her, she freaks out again.

So she tells the teacher that she cant be in class anymore, because she’s hungry. And she doesnt have any candy to eat.